Let the Writing Begin

Last week I started writing Chapter 1 for my dissertation, which will act as a part of my research proposal.  I'm taking a class about proposal writing, and in the second half of the class we must write the first 2 chapters of our dissertation.  The official research proposal requires the first 3 chapters, and my committee will tentatively accept take a look at it in the fall semester of this year.

The picture above represents most, but not all, of my physical books that I need just to write Chapter 1.  There's a few more e-books that couldn't be photographed for obvious reasons.  Also not included are the many articles I have stored electronically to help me write Chapter 1.  Perhaps this pile of books represents at least 1/3 of my cited sources for that chapter.

At the same time, I'm writing two papers that overlap quite a bit with Chapter 1.  One is about how the English language policy of Japan affects my target participants of my dissertation and the other is a research proposal for a mixed methods study, which is heavily influenced from my "unmixed" methods dissertation.  Writing three papers that overlap that much is easy in that I don't need to collect much more literature, however having a distinct mindset for each paper is the challenging aspect, especially that my arguments differ.

At this point, in my early stages of my dissertation, I enjoy the writing process, especially because I have been collecting and reading a lot of literature over the past couple years.  I wonder how long it will take before I become sick of writing.  I hope it's later than sooner.

My dissertation time frame so far is as follows:

1. In late April, complete my comprehensive exams and form my dissertation committee.
2. By early May, complete drafts for chapters 1-2 for my proposal writing class, when I finish my last full semester of courses
3. Over the summer, write chapter 3 and complete my application for the Internal Review Board (IRB)
4. By September, submit my research proposal to my committee and prepare to collect data.

Data collection will commence once I have IRB and dissertation committee approval.  This should take 4-6 months.  Data analysis will take another 6 months.  In the interim, I should be editing chapters 1-3 and slowly writing chapter 4 as my research is longitudinal, meaning I collect and analyze data in stages.  Optimistically, I could have the dissertation completed before the summer of 2013.  But I was told that it may take until the winter of 2013/14 to be done to the satisfaction of my committee.

Stress and Coping

I find it interesting that I find that my research interest can be categorized in the field of psychology as a study in stress and coping when that's how I feel this semester--I'm stressed and coping to get through.
The purpose of today's posting is more to serve myself: to visualize my stressors in order to organize a coping strategy now and to show my future self how the last semester of courses felt.  Hopefully, I will be less stressed a year or so from now.

List of Concerns in order of my brain's dedication from most to least

1. The physical, mental, and psychological wellbeing of my family
2. Comprehensive exams
3. Research proposal (and course assignments related to it)
4. Current and immediate future income (paying the bills)
5. Future employment in 2012-13
6. My daughter's schooling
7. Presentations and publications
8. Course assignments not related to my research proposal
9. Future employment once I obtain PhD
10. Teaching assistantships
11. Visiting family and friends
12. Maintaining the house (cleaning chores)
13. Planning getaway trips for spring break and early summer
14. The world economy and its effects on my profession
15. My social life in Iowa City
16. The direction of my country

By the start of the fall semester, I hope to have removed numbers 2, 5, 8, and 10 from the list, and reorganizing the rest except for #1.  There is a strong relationship between numbers 5 and 10, so I hope to have at least one of them removed to enjoy a slightly less stressful end of 2012.

One way to analyze this list is to see how much of it is in my control.  Another way to analyze it is to see how much of it is in the present moment.  What can I do about these things now?  I am strongly tempted to answer "not enough."  I feel guilty if I'm not doing anything to improve these conditions unless it's after 8pm when I am too exhausted to solve problems well.

Someone should investigate the adverse effects of going through a PhD program.  Perhaps when I'm finished, I can quantify the sacrifices (material and immaterial) and compare them to the rewards of the degree.  Am I setting myself up for surprise or disappointment or is there another emotional response?

The good news now is that I am not giving up and that thought is very far removed at this point.

Obstacles and Opportunities

The past month has been an exciting roller coaster ride of emotions.  This week I almost felt like I was going to fall off or out, but isn't that part of the thrill?  I half-heartedly jest.  Let me first describe the aggravating part of the ride, and then finish with the invigorating part.

In the middle of January, right before my last full semester of classes was about to begin, I started receiving hints that my best plan for data collection was not going to happen.  This set off my mind to turn on the back burners of alternative plans for data collection.  (I already had plans B through E written out with my wife's help.)  Because the time of data collection for plan A was soon approaching, we were both getting excited to see my research finally getting done physically, out in the field, rather than mentally and on paper.  But then, I got that warning sign.  Two weeks went by when I would switch between optimism and pessimism.  I wasn't too worried because all my eggs were not in this basket.

Earlier this week, I got confirmation that plan A was not going to happen from two different sources.  The first was from an important contact overseas where I had planned (and still may plan) to collect data.  The second was from my department.  I somewhat agree with those in my department that I may be rushing things too hastily.  The rush is partly due to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with full support of my wife.  The other rush is financial, meaning if I could get done faster my family and I can improve our current standard of living.  Being the spouse of a PhD student is more punishing than being the actual PhD student during these times because, where I feel somewhat powerless, my wife feels even more powerless in the progress of our lifestyle.  Any bad news I receive about the delay or hiccups in my plan to obtain the PhD degree impacts my wife twice as badly.

In the past few days, I have been dealing with the fact that plan A will not happen.  And so I was ready to look over plans B through E.  When I started organizing my thoughts on paper, I realized that I had nearly twice as many back-up plans, B through I.  None of them, however, were as glorious as plan A to me and my wife.  When I started analyzing each back-up plan, it seemed that the major concerns for each plan had to do with money, time, rigor, and modifications of the research questions.  The most efficient plan in terms of time, rigor, and modifications was actually the most expensive plan and nearly impossible for this year.  The most rigorous plan would take the most time, but it didn't necessarily require more money or modifications.

At this moment, I have taken into consideration that time is the least in my favor now, and this acts like a dagger stabbing my wife in the heart.  If we can survive this wounding, I have at least 2 very good alternative plans, new B and new C, and I can foresee at least 3 more other options that are less favorable.  And this time, I will have to sit on these plans until the semester is over.

OK, that's the nearly end of the aggravating part of the ride.  On the same tracks of this roller coaster metaphor were some very exhilirating climbs.  Firstly, I have completed the second drafts of all of my comprehensive exam papers.  With the due date postponed 5 weeks, I have the chance to improve as many of those drafts as I want.  Because I had completed the bulk of that task, a window of opportunity to read literature I had earlier collected opened up.  From these few articles and books, I found stronger footing in my research proposal and even more literature to collect.  This all happened days before the semester started.

The biggest treasure trove opened up after the first day in a course I felt was least relevant to my research this semester.  It turns out that the readings and my ideas for the seminar paper for that course may actually amplify the impact of the first two chapters of my dissertation.  In my first step into searching for literature for the seminar paper, I stumbled upon nearly the same amount of literature that I had previously collected, therefore almost doubling my literature of primary resources.  I wrote about this a little in the last posting.

What inspired me to write this posting was Twitter, which I only use for professional purposes.  I noticed that I haven't been paying too much attention to my small group of followers, and today I looked at the very few who were following me that I wasn't following.  Two of them were actually publishers in my area of research interest.  It was then I really felt the impact of this aggregate technology.  If publishers can find researchers before the researchers find them, that can really speed up the process.  I'm not talking about sketchy publishers who will print anything.  One of them actually has a good reputation in my field, and I'm surprised that I have overlooked several of their books.

So although this past month has shown to be punishing in terms of plans for data collection, it has actually been the most rewarding month for building a strong case for my research, which in turn will enhance my data collection methods when the time comes.  Although I feel much better now, the wounds haven't completely healed yet, and I must remember that my wife's wounds are deeper.

Crunch Semester

Last week, the spring 2012 semester began, and I have a full load.  Firstly, I am enrolled in my final 3 required courses in my department.  Secondly, I am comping during the first half of the semester.  Thirdly, I hope to have my research proposal completed with IRB approval by the end of the semester.  Yes, my plate is very full.

By this time, I had hoped that the most of my literature was collected for my dissertation's literature review.  However, one of my courses this semester has directed me to more literature, some of which is very useful to build an even stronger case for my research.  This has come as a surprise to me because I expected this course to be the least relevant to my dissertation and the other two, and, just in the first week, it has shown to be the most helpful in terms of collecting literature.

With my new armament of literature, I have found a few researchers that I would like to contact sometime this semester for their guidance.  I have already contacted one but was a little disappointed that he has recently moved his attention away from my research interest.  One of the researchers seems to be headed in the same direction as me, but he has the advantage of being a well-established researcher in the field.  At this moment, I do not know how to tactfully approach him as his publications and his website indicate that he's an incredibly busy man.  I will seek one of my professor's advice on that.

On another topic, I am waiting to hear from my previous employer in Japan if I am invited back to teach for a second summer.  If I am, it would provide an ideal opportunity for me to collect data.  I am waiting for this green light, so I may continue the IRB process and make contacts to set up interviews upon my arrival.  If I do not get the green light, I have several alternative plans but they are not as convenient in terms of time, finances, and support as the present one.

By the end of the semester, I hope to have the following tasks accomplished:

• Comprehensive exams completed to the satisfaction of my committee
• The last 3 required courses of my department completed
• Chapters 1-3 of my dissertation completed
• IRB application sent and approved
• At least 3 contacts made to help with finding participants

These seem to be some of the characteristics of the initial stages of a PhD candidate who is ABD (all but dissertation).

Comps

The written portion of my comprehensive examination is due on February 9th, just 9 weeks away.  The oral defense of the written portion should happen about a month afterwards.  All of this will occur on a full semester of courses.  Fortunately for me, I will have most of winter break to work on it.  I'm not worrying about it right now because I have one week left of this semester to wrap up.  As soon as this semester's courses finish this coming Thursday, I will begin my preparation for my comps.

Comprehensive exams come at the end of completing one's PhD course work.  Next semester will be my last full semester of courses, and I most likely need to take one more course afterwards for my cognate area.  This course, however, will help in my data analysis stage of my research.  Most of my classmates have taken or will take their comps in a semester with little or no coursework.  However, it is not rare for one to take comps during a full semester of courses.

My department has recently changed the requirements for comps that I will not divulge too much here.  The pilot study for this new style of comps will be completed this semester, so I and a couple of my cohorts will undergo the tested new edition.  The disadvantage is that we don't have many people to ask about going through this new process.  The advantage is that we will establish the initial standard for the tested new edition of comps.

I am being tested on my depth and breadth of knowledge in the field of Foreign Language and ESL Education, my research interest, and the method of research I plan to use for my dissertation.  All of this should be assessed by mid-semester in the spring by my department.  If I pass, then I am able to submit my prospectus for my dissertation, so I may begin collecting my data for my dissertation.  If all goes well and as tentatively planned, I hope to begin collecting data this summer in Japan.  The first half of 2012 looks to be incredibly more busy than any other 6-month period I have ever faced before academically.  I will see how it compares to the first 6 months of my daughter's life in terms of responsibility, diligence, and stress.

Permanent Head Damage

I am in my last academic year of taking being a full-time PhD student.  This means I have 3 graduate courses this semester and I will have another 3 next semester.  Next semester, I will be taking my comprehensive exams as well.  After that, I will be relatively free to collect data for my dissertation.  So, in a sense, this semester is the last "normal" semester.  But the past year hasn't felt normal at all.  If there is a supposed to be a psychological transformation that goes along with the PhD process, I am certainly feeling it.  I've heard a colleague or two mention this as "Permanent Head Damage," the alternate meaning to PhD.

Since I've been reflecting on my psychological well being for the last year, I can discuss two effects of the PhD process that are most unpleasant.  The first is the feeling of isolation.  My feeling may be more exaggerated than my cohorts as I have no social life apart from my wife and young daughter.  I do not have time to socialize with cohorts and I live in a city that requires a day trip to see my closest family and friends.  During the academic year, I can only arrange such day trips once a semester.  My interactions with people are dominated by child rearing, sitting in classes as a student, teaching a course, and the occasional conversation with my wife.  My isolation is contrasted with spending half of my life these days on a large Midwestern university campus where many undergraduates and some graduates focus on socialization.  A little jealousy creeps in.  Is this jealous feeling mutual?  Do any of these freewheeling undergraduates wish they were in my shoes nearing the end of my higher education in one field?

Usually the isolation is at its most unbearable at the end of each semester.  That's when I realize it's more difficult to relate to others.  It's also at the end of the semester where the second effect is most noticeable as well, and that is the obsessive-compulsiveness on one's own research interest combined with completing homework assignments.  The more and more engrossed I become in a class, the less and less engaged I am with what's going on in the real world most immediate to me.  I start to become oblivious to local events, and my wife needs to constantly remind me that there is something interesting going on in town.  (She would like a social life with me too.)

PhD studies differ from MA studies in that I felt that I shared the same interests and desire to learn the specific subjects with my classmates when I was an MA student.  As a PhD student, my interests have become more specific, so that only a few share the same interests, but almost nobody has the same level of desire to learn more about that interest.  In a way, this is another kind of isolation.  It's just me and my research topic in the room together and nobody will care until it's done.  I get very excited when I learn more about my research interest and my research interest benefits from the attention I give it and hopefully the added attention it will receive when "we" get published.

The benefit of being a PhD student/candidate is that at least you have your research committee to support you in terms of honing your skills, but they will be gone after the dissertation is done.  Then I will depend on the kindness of peers for review, but not to the extent of support.  Fortunately, I have chosen a research interest that requires me to meet new people and help them if needed, so I expect to find some social purpose to my life in that arena.

I've heard about the love-hate relationship PhD candidates have with the research topic they chosen, but to me it almost feels like another marriage.  Here I am developing a familiarity with my topic that I begin to lose appreciation for it.  This metaphor rings true in that my wife gets upset when I prefer to spend my time developing my research than with her.  There are times when I would like to tell my research to go away, but I need it to finish this PhD process.  When I get in moods like this, I reflect on how easy life was with jobs that require only an MA.  However, most of the years were spent childless as well.

So I have three commitments: my daughter, my wife, and my research.  One of these is temporary, but it is this one that has been receiving more money and attention from me.  But I have put myself in this situation, and I do not regret doing so as long as I do not suffer any permanent head damage from it.

Practice Interviews

Yesterday I conducted 3 practice interviews related to my dissertation here in Japan. None of them really my target participant profile, which is a a new expatriate EFL instructor teaching abroad in a specific country for the first time. The closest one could have fit this profile if she were contracted for a year rather than 2 months, which makes her more of a visitor/tourist than a sojourner. A sojourner is an expatriate who expects to live (and work) abroad for at least a year but intends to return home within a few years (Ting-Toomey, 1999, p. 234).

The purpose of these interviews is to develop my technique in both the creation and delivery of good interview questions. The result so far has been very positive, but I have known these practice participants for a month as my colleagues. I do, however, expect that some of my future participants may also be colleagues of mine. I intend to start interviewing them within 2-4 weeks of their arrival, and they may not know me at all prior to the interview except through a short introduction. So I expect I will need to work harder at building rapport and earning their trust.

Because I do not have IRB approval from the University of Iowa, I did not collect any data about the content of the interview. I made it known to all of my participants prior to the interview that I would not be recording the interview nor writing any information down about the content of the interview. And I informed them of the purpose as I stated in the previous paragraph, so I would only collect data on my interview technique. I made it clear that nothing they said would be published, including this blog post.

I have at least 3 more participants to interview while I'm here, so I will complete this blog post when that is complete. But one tip I learned from my first qualitative methods class was to record my impressions as soon as possible, so here are my impressions of my technique without providing any of my participants' information that I recall from the interviews.

All 3 interviews were scheduled to last no longer than an hour, but all 3 interviews could have easily lasted longer. I had prepared 2 pages of questions for each participant. In fact, for this practice interview I had to design 3 separate interview protocols based on my participants' experiences. The most used protocol is for expatriates who have taught in more than one country and will leave Japan within the next year. The second protocol was for expatriates who have never taught in Japan before, so this one most closely resembles the real protocol I intend to use for my real data collection. The third and final protocol was for expatriates who have taught in Japan for at least 15 years and do not have any plans to leave Japan anytime soon.

Reflecting on the flow and pace of each interview, I predict that one of the three interviews would have lasted at least 3 hours. The shortest of the three, which had a different protocol than the other two interviews, could have gone on for another 30 minutes. I am not too surprised that I didn't have enough time to go through all the questions because I didn't expect this to happen. I am a bit surprised that my predictions (based on my experience as a teacher and my familiarity with the participants) were somewhat accurate about the length of each interview.

I was more surprised about the variation in response. One of the interviews was a lot more conversational than the others as I rarely had to turn to my question sheet. My thoughts on why this was so will reveal some information about the participant, so I will refrain. The other two interviews followed the flow of my questions, although one of them focused on an idea that I planned to ask later. But I did not have a problem with rearranging the order, and I let the participant carry this idea with me providing follow-up questions on it.

I felt myself skipping a question or two for all the participants as I felt that it would disrupt the flow or pace of the interview. If I had more time, I may have gone back to cover those questions.

The interviews did provide me some useful ideas for additional questions or related studies. Getting these new ideas increased my motivation to pursue this research interest. I cannot provide what these questions are specifically as they will reveal some data that I promised not to collect. I hope that similar questions or ideas for future studies will be replicated in my data collection for my dissertation.

I only received positive feedback from my first 3 practice participants as they all commented on the quality of the questions. Nobody voiced any concerns about feeling uncomfortable or awkward. However, I felt a little awkward at times.

Two of the interviews took place in the participants' office. I do not expect many of my target participants to have their own office if my research is in Japan or Korea, based on my own experience. The third interview took place in the university cafeteria. Although I felt mostly comfortable in the cafeteria, I felt awkward to eat while listening. I apologized about eating while listening, but the participant expressed no problems about it. But I will most likely not eat while collecting data in the future unless there is no time limit for the interview.

Reflecting on each question, I found that none of the questions took me to a dead end. Perhaps I was lucky with my first three participants. Even if I were unsure about a question's appropriateness concerning their experience, the participants wanted to hear the question anyway, and they answered all it. I assume that this occurred because of their familiarity with me.

One concern I have is interjecting my own experience into the interview. Most of the time, I was confirming their feelings and opinions as I shared them, but I was worried if this was ethical. My confirmations could be leading them to where I want them to go, however these confirmations almost always came at the end of a certain topic. Once in a while, the participants would ask about my experience, and I felt that I should provide as brief of an answer as possible because the interview is not about me. This left me wondering about the participants' preferences for interviews. Perhaps some interviewees would feel more comfortable if they were learning something about me as well like in a conversation. Although I feel very hesitant to make an interview into a conversation in which 50% of the data is about me. Looking back, I'd say I got to about 10% at the most.

All 3 of these interviews were conducted back to back with little time between each one. In fact, I had to race from one site to another between each one. This did not seem to be a concern for the participants, but I prefer to be early than just in time. I felt that I could possibly do 2 interviews in a row. Even though I conducted to the 3rd interview just as well, I felt that I had to keep myself more actively engaged. This had nothing to do with the participant. I blame my scheduling and eating. It makes me wonder how many interviews are conducted in which the investigator is not fully alert or engaged. Let me state clearly that I was, but I felt the urge to enjoy my meal more. I felt more distracted I guess, but it's hard for me to pin it on one thing like the cafeteria. This does not distract me from conducting another interview in a cafeteria or restaurant. I just won't make such an interview the last one in a series of interviews.

Today I plan to conduct 2 more interviews and 1 on Saturday. There were 2 others that expressed some interest, but I haven't bothered them about it yet. I'll see how this carries me through the weekend, and I will continue reporting in this manner about the other interviews below in this posting.

* * *

A few days have passed, and I have completed my scheduled practice interviews for the summer. I had at least 3 more participants that were willing to be interviewed, but they didn't select a time, and I'm running out of time. Two of these three would have been interesting as they do not fit the expected or dominant profile of the expatriate EFL instructor as their countries of origin are Japan (teaching in another country) and Bangladesh (teaching in Japan).

About the remaining three interviews that I conducted, I felt they weren't as successful as the previous ones. On Thursday, I interviewed two participants that had experiences I had not completely anticipated, so that made many of my questions irrelevant to their situation. I'm sure I could have improved on creating a better interview if I had collected and reviewed their CVs beforehand, thus I learned how vital it is to have some sort of background information like a CV prior to the first interview.

Another problem with those two Thursday interviews was that I felt somewhat exhausted from my day before interviewing them. I was surprised how much my mood played a factor in my ability to ask questions and assess the success of the interview. Perhaps the interviews would have been as good as the first ones if I had a sharper mind. Evidence of this lower quality of question delivery was that I seemed to pay more attention to the list of questions than the pace and flow of the interviews, thus the conversations felt less relaxed.

This morning, I interviewed my final scheduled participant. I felt that this interview went better than Thursday's. However, because this participant's situation was quite different compared to the previous ones, I felt that I could have better organized my questions. Of all the interviews, this one seemed to skim the surface of many interesting topics, but because of the nature and purpose of the interview, I didn't get much depth. That said, I learned the most of how to compose and organize questions for participants like this one. In fact, this interview has motivated me to pursue a case study research on this type of population soon after I finish my dissertation.

I'd like to conclude by saying this interview practice has helped me learn more about myself as both a researcher and as a member of the EFL expatriate community. I expected to learn about my ability to conduct interviews, and I was happily surprised by it overall. What I didn't expect was how I fit in or didn't fit into the EFL expatriate community, and how I can make adjustments to be a better member, and hopefully a leader, in this community.