Post-Defense Revisions, part 2

Several weeks have passed since my defense.  The drained and somber emotions of the defense have passed, replaced with a determination to make all the revisions based on recommendations and suggestions from the committee.  A lot of bullet biting has helped me sweep through revising the first four chapters.  It's Memorial Day weekend, and I only have one chapter left to revise.  I'm taking the day off to enjoy the thought of laying down the last piece of this five-year long puzzle next weekend.  It's been quite a reflective time.

Biting the Bullet
Over the last year, I have been tied to the thought that I was using grounded theory for my dissertation.  Although I have been using some of the techniques used in grounded theory for my data analysis, I had always had a theoretical framework in the back of my mind.  My issue was that this theoretical framework is based on a model designed for teachers.  The model was created by a well-published researcher in my field, but the model itself was not grounded in research.  Instead it was based on his personal experiences and observations as an English language teacher and as an educator of English language teachers.  My committee helped give me the courage to credit this model as my theoretical framework as my research helps ground the model. 

I was also tied to involving a popular theory used in culture shock studies, but my committee helped me finally come to the conclusion to drop it from the dissertation.  Although I have evidence to support this theory, it distracts from the bigger theoretical framework mentioned in the previous paragraph.

My problem was that I wanted to show how my research supported many theories and models used in second language education, intercultural communication, and acculturation psychology.  What I learned from the defense is that I should show how my research supports just one of the theories or models as it makes for a tighter argument.  This was a blessing in disguise because I can publish other articles showing how my dissertation research supports the others.  I really don't feel qualified to publish much in acculturation psychology, but I feel that my experiences, training, and research in intercultural communication qualify me to publish in that field.  I will sound find out as I will be presenting my findings at a conference on intercultural communication.  Fortunately for me, many of the organizers have backgrounds in second language education.

Revisions
After my defense, I reopened my Facebook account and I have been keeping my friends and family informed of my post-defense revision process.  I closed my Facebook after my I completed collecting data.  That social network was an easy temptation to distract me from data analysis and writing Chapters 4 and 5.  With the defense behind me, I feel like I can handle the distraction again.  (I also discovered that I like Facebook even less now, and I'm looking to close the account again soon.)  Below are my reports that I posted on Facebook.

Friday, May 9, 2014

• Post-defense revision, step #1: I just gutted 10 pages from Chapter 1, thus providing me a sense of both pain and relief at the same time. This is how my weekend begins!
• Post-defense revision, step #2: I just spent an hour combing through and correcting grammar inconsistencies in Chapter 3. My work for Friday is complete. How's your weekend so far?

Saturday, May 10, 2014

• Post-defense revision, step #3: I have re-framed and strengthened my arguments in Chapter 1 ahead of schedule. I can now take it easy until I receive more feedback from my committee co-chair.

 Sunday, May 11, 2014

• Post-defense revision, step #4: Chapter 1 completed! Proofreader needed when all chapters are revised. Goals for the weekend are accomplished.

Friday, May 16, 2014

• Post-defense revision, step #5: Removed 6 pages from Chapter 2 that will never return in another form. May remove up to 10 more tomorrow. This is how my weekend begins.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

• Post-defense revision, step #6: Reorganized half of Chapter 2 and wrote a much stronger introduction. Added 4 pages and removed none. That was my Saturday morning. How was yours?
• Post-defense revision, step #7: Streamlined the middle third of Chapter 2 this afternoon. I removed more pages than I expected, so I'm back to 10 fewer pages than the draft used in the defense. I will finish chapter 2's revisions tomorrow. Picnic time is coming!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

• Post-defense, revision, step #8: Chapter 2 revisions have been completed with even more pages removed. The incision was easier than I imagined. And it's only 8:15 in the morning!

Monday, May 19, 2014

• Post-defense revision, step #9: I spent my morning revising Chapter 3, which needed the least revisions of the 5 chapters. This is how I spend my vacation day!      

 Saturday, May 24, 2014

• Post-defense revision, step #10: Reorganized two-thirds of Chapter 4 this morning. I didn't realize that I neglected to report an important finding that added as many pages as I removed in the past 2 days. This process took twice as long as I expected. Ugh!
• Post-defense revision, step #11: I have completed my Chapter 4 revisions! One chapter to go, but first I must enjoy the remainder of the Memorial Day weekend,   

Looking back at my Facebook status updates, I seem to be very conscious of the page count.  I don't really care what the final page count is, but I like to see how my revisions affect the page count.  When I first submitted my first draft of all the chapters, it was over 300 pages long.  When it was delivered to the committee, I cut about 30 pages from it based on my co-chairs' suggestions.  Now it's 20 pages shorter with most of those pages cut from Chapters 1 and 2.  Chapter 4 was the most interesting to view as I removed nearly as many pages as I added.  I think I ended up with one page fewer than when I began Chapter 4 revisions.

In revision step #10, I noted that I neglected to report an important finding.  I was surprised because the finding was clearly in my brain and in my introductory presentation at the defense, but it was missing in Chapter 4.  This error alone shows why it's important to go over your dissertation several times.  A third-party proofreader would most likely not catch that as he or she is not familiar with your content.

I am still considering a third-party proofreader mainly to catch APA-style problems.  I have a friend that may be able to be this proofreader who may do it for free in exchange for me proofreading one of his articles.  I think this is more than fair, with me on the more beneficial side.

Next Steps
By next Sunday, June 1st, I should have Chapter 5's revisions completed.  So on Monday, June 2nd, I will submit my revised dissertation to my co-chairs to show that I have considered their suggestions.  During the week of June 1st, I will see how easy or difficult it is to edit my dissertation to APA guidelines.  If it is difficult, then I will contact my friend to proofread it.  If it is easy, I will give myself a week or two to do it myself.  By the end of June, I should have heard from my co-chairs, the APA editing should be complete, and I can make my first deposit to the Graduate College.  Then it's in their hands for about a month.  They are the final gatekeepers of the PhD degree.

Post-Defense Revisions

Let me start this post by saying that I did not expect the defense to wipe me out physically, emotionally, and cognitively for such an extended period of time.  Now that I am sleeping better, I wonder if I am still suffering from post-defense fatigue or from allergies.  Probably both.  I'm still a bit in a mental haze in my day-to-day routines.

Aren't you done?
No, I need to make a lot of revisions to my dissertation before I submit it to the Graduate College, which is the last step before earning the PhD.

But you passed--
Yes, under the condition that I make these revisions.   Ideally, I would have liked to have had another month or two to edit my dissertation before defending.  However, I wouldn't be able to defend during the summer because most of my committee members would not be around at the same time.  I wanted to defend before the spring semester ended.  I knew this meant that my dissertation would not be as polished as I and my co-chairs would have liked for the defense.

How much do you have to revise?
My first impression to the defense was that I had to revise more than I expected.  But after thinking it over (obsessively: therefore lack of sleep), I had many of these revisions in mind before defending.  My committee made it clear that I had to make all of them, plus a few more.

I haven't confirmed with my co-chairs yet, but it seems that Chapters 1 and 2 need the most revision in terms of reframing and/or strengthening my argument for the research project.  Chapter 4 and the first half of Chapter 5 also need a lot of revision, but that seems to be more of reorganizing than rewriting.   Chapters 1 and 2 will probably take at least one week each to revise.  Chapters 4 & 5 will probably take a week.

What about Chapter 3?
My most embarrassing mistake was here.  In February, I changed the verb tenses in Chapter 3 so it read more like a descriptive process narrative than a proposal.  Those changes were saved on Dropbox on one computer.  I then made content changes a few days later on my flash drive on another computer.  When I saved those new changes on Dropbox, it saved over the previous version with all the grammar changes.  That was the last time I looked at Chapter 3 for revisions, unfortunately and embarrassingly.  Making those grammar changes were tedious, but I must repeat the tedium again.  Ugh!

How does this change your original revision plans?
Yes, well I foolishly thought my committee would suggest a few minor changes.  I thought this would take a week or two and then I would spend the rest of June checking and double-checking the format according to APA and the Graduate College template requirements, which is probably more tedious than checking the grammar in Chapter 3. 

Now it appears that May and June will be too tedious for one person to bear (I lightly jest), so I am now more seriously considering to hire a proofreader for APA and the template.  This will afford me more time to make better revisions to the content and organization of the paper.

Do you recommend others to follow your path?
Not really.   One reason is that it's hard to follow most PhD candidates' paths because the situations and contexts are different.  Even if someone had the same dissertation committee and a similar dissertation as mine, that candidate's writing and revising strategies may completely differ from mine.

Will you be able to get it done in time?
Yes, I am not worried about that.  I am looking forward to not having to worry about it anymore.  That is in August. 

The Defense

This blog was titled "The Road to My Dissertation Defense" until I successfully defended my dissertation yesterday, but I am far from done.  The purpose of this post to share my 3-day emotional ride before, during, and after the defense.  For your reference, I defended on Friday, May 2nd from 10am to 12pm.

The Two Days Before
On Wednesday, my employer provided me the opportunity to practice my dissertation defense presentation with my colleagues.  I started the day in a good and lighthearted mood.  Because I was surrounded by supportive colleagues, the practice or "rehearsal" went well, and I left it feeling even more confident than when I started.  The rest of the day on Wednesday went smoothly with little worry about the defense.

Thursday was a different story.  Although I wasn't consciously worried about my defense, I didn't sleep well.  I didn't think it was my nerves that prevented a good sleep.  I thought it was more the weather, which was rainy and colder than average.  It was more likely the pollen, which gets pretty bad around this time of year.  Many people I knew in Iowa City and Cedar Rapids were suffering from colds and/or allergies.  I thought a cold may dampen my defense, but it won't prevent me from defending well.  I was determined to get a better night sleep.  I feel asleep early and quickly.

Friday, 4am - 10am
Unfortunately for me, I woke up at 4am worrying more about my job than my dissertation defense.  The atmosphere at my place of employment has been quite tense this week.  I believe this is because the semester is winding down and the anxiety of the teachers and students feeds off on everyone else.  Additionally, our department has been hosting big year-end events at least once a week.  This drama will end with our last event on May 16.

Sometime between 5:00 and 6:30, I managed to get a little bit of sleep.  I only realized this when I woke from dreaming.  My dreams were not anxiety dreams, which resembled The Grand Budapest Hotel, so I was sleepily entertained.

I officially awoke at 6:30.  My anxiety probably made me feel more alert than the previous morning.  The anxiety was most about the unknown as I had no idea what was coming, and I did not bother anticipating any of the committee's questions.  As the time drew closer to 10am, my anxiety turned into excitement as in "I'm finally getting this done" and to borrow from Phil Collins, "I've been waiting for this moment for all my life..in Iowa City."

Listening to Chris Joss' album You've Been Spiked, I calmly drove to the university with under an hour left.  I got a good parking spot in the parking garage, and I had plenty of time to make sure my paperwork was in order, to buy some bottled water for the committee, and to set up the room including food, drink, and technology.  I was thankful that several of my colleagues attended to support my defense.  Their presence made it easier, especially when I saw nodding, which I think meant I was answering appropriately.

The Defense
Although I believe I handled the defense well, there were times in which I had periods of extreme anxiety based on a committee member's interpretation or misreading of my dissertation.  None of these were too bad, but I panicked internally more than I needed to.  I blame my adrenalin.  This unnecessary stress is perhaps the main cause of my emotional exhaustion immediately following the defense.

My emotions also differed for each committee member who was asking questions or providing feedback.  I am aware they were playing roles with how to approach or attack my defense, and I hope I responded appropriately.  I tried to stay good-humored all the way through.  Compliments were also a necessary breath of fresh air or burst of sunshine.

Friday, 12pm - 2pm
After the defense and all the committee members left with their congratulations, I felt wiped out but not relieved.  This defense was scheduled earlier than usual in the process, so I still have a lot of revision to do.  For the first hour, my mind raced on how to make all these revisions in the next seven weeks. I wandered around downtown Iowa City looking for food, but my mind was often distracted by dwelling on a revision plan. 

Back at home for the second hour, I had to coach myself to calm down and to take a break.  Earlier, I had promised to do no work for the rest of the weekend.  But I felt guilty because I didn't do too much with my dissertation for the past two weeks, after I submitted the dissertation to them.  To relieve myself of some anxiety, I wrote out a revision timetable to convince myself that I could get it done.  However, I was not too happy with the first draft of my timetable.

Friday, 2pm - 6pm
I had the opportunity to go back to work and join in a celebratory event for two teachers associated with our department, but I felt like the reminder of work would cause work-related stress to replace dissertation-related stress.  I need a healthy distraction, an escape.  My daughter provided the best suggestion, "Let's go on an explorer trip."  So my daughter and I convinced my wife to join us on a sunny afternoon hike through Hickory Hill.  Walking has always been the best stress relief for me, and walking through the woods is even better.  We took a long, long walk through the woods.  And  my daughter was showing us how much she has been learning and growing since the last time we walked through the woods about a month ago. My mood had completely changed.

After our walk, we drove straight to a local pizza place for dinner that the whole family enjoys.  And we had a stress-free dinner with great pizza and excellent service.  As I was leaving the building, I was surprised at how many strangers were smiling at me as they walked (and even drove) past me.  I know it was probably the sunny and warmer weather, but I felt like I had a post-defense glow. 

The afternoon ended with lots of love and support from friends, family, and colleagues on social media.  Their emotions finally overtook the stressful emotions that built up for and welled up in the defense.  It was happy, but not an ending.

In my next post, I will describe more about how I got to this point through writing and revising, and why I need to revise more than the average person who defends successfully.